The Weight Of Being Different: Understanding Mental Health

By Sowah Sarah Tawiah

When I was in Senior High School (SHS) 1, I had a classmate who I never really paid much attention to. To me, he was just another classmate among many. But in SHS 2, on one day, I truly noticed him for the first time.

It was one Wednesday afternoon, and we had a free period. As usual, the classroom was full of noise and laughter. Students were moving around, joking, and enjoying themselves. Everyone was talking to one person or at least engaged in something. But then, I noticed him. He was sitting in a corner, completely silent. He was not talking to anyone, nor was he busy with something. He was just there, staring into the blank space.

And something about the way he looked just didn’t sit right with me. Why was he alone when everyone else was talking to someone? So, my curious self-decided to go up to him and ask if he was okay.

At first, he told me he was fine, and that there was nothing wrong. But I knew what I saw earlier, and I was so sure that he was not fine. So, I insisted, and after a while, he looked at me for a moment before saying, “Well, you may be right. I’m not okay.” Something about the way he looked at that moment just broke my heart. Then, he started talking. He told me about how much he felt unloved, especially by his family. He shared that his father had abandoned him, and because of that, he felt unwanted, especially at home. He also said he had no real friends.

At that point, I didn’t know how to respond, but what I knew was that I wanted to help. So, I told him not to worry, and that I would be his friend and be there for him anytime he needed someone to talk to.

And that’s how our friendship started.

The Teasing and Isolation

In the weeks that followed, I paid more attention to him, and I began to see how different he was from everyone else. And truth be told, he was a very brilliant student.

However, our classmates often teased and made fun of him. They called him names, laughed at his behaviour, and never really took him seriously. One of the most common names they gave him was “Charlie Chaplin” because they said he walked and dressed like the famous comedian.

Sometimes I would condemn their behaviour and tell them to stop calling him names. But honestly, I didn’t know what to make of him either. His way of thinking and understanding things was all too new for me, maybe even weird. Most of the time, I struggled to follow his logic. There were even moments when I felt like he was against himself, like he didn’t love himself enough and needed constant validation from others.

But while I was trying to understand him, our classmates were making him feel even more isolated. Every joke, every nickname and every comment they made only pushed him further away.

Looking Back

I must admit that at the time, I didn’t know much about mental health. I didn’t realize that my friend might have been struggling with depression or even schizophrenia. I didn’t fully understand what those terms really meant. But now, what I understand is that he wasn’t just different; he was going through something deeply painful.

And what he needed was support, love, genuine care and kindness. But instead, all he got was getting teased almost all the time.

When I look back now, I wonder how things could have been much better if we had all tried to understand him more. What if our classmates had included him instead of teasing him? What if I had taken the time to learn more about mental health instead of feeling confused?

A Lesson for all of us

It is interesting to note that there are so many people like my friend. In 2024, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimated that approximately 13% of Ghanaians suffer from mental health disorders. This means that over 4 million people suffer from mental illnesses. This includes people who, like my friend, feel alone, unloved, or misunderstood. People who struggle with mental health issues but don’t get the support they need.

With my friend, he would sometimes go and sit in another classroom for so many hours instead of staying in ours. When I once asked him why he did that, he said “I feel more welcome in the other classes. The students there love me and treat me better than my own classmates. When I’m there, no one laughs at me or teases me. They even say they wish I was in their class. They treat me like I’m one of them.” That hit me very hard.

Here in Ghana, the stigma surrounding mental health sometimes makes it hard for individuals to open up about their struggles. Moreover, Ghana happens to be a very ‘spiritual’ country, where cultural beliefs and practices are highly revered. Hence, if someone starts to behave a bit ‘differently’, it is easily assumed that they have been cursed or maybe under some sort of spell.

So, these individuals who suffer from mental disorders would rather keep quiet and suffer alone than open up, just to avoid being called ‘crazy.’

According to mental health and rehabilitation specialist, Gloria Sarkodie Addo, founder of SoftLife Ghana (a group of mental health and rehabilitation practitioners), “People associate mental illnesses with curses. If you’re struggling, it’s assumed that someone has placed a curse on you. This fear prevents people from seeking help.”

She further added that “Stigma leads to social isolation. People fear being labelled as ‘crazy’ or ‘spiritually afflicted’, so they often suffer in silence.”

But this shouldn’t be the case. Sometimes, all these individuals really need is for someone to see them, love them, and be there for them. So, if you know someone like that; someone who seems different, distant, or alone, don’t ignore them. Don’t laugh at them or tease them. Instead, try to reach out and help them if you can, just like I did that day in SHS 2. Sometimes, just having one friend can make all the difference.